august

Just look
All these people, all these houses
These houses and parks full of people, and the empty schools
Kids are having fun- supposedly
Well, it's August and obviously that's what they are to do
Going after balls and each other
Laughing over the stupidest games
These games are so worth it but they know nothing

I'm such a nostalgic bitch when it's August and I'm in Athens
My friends are gone- literally or mentally
And I should be too
And maybe I am
Or maybe I'm not
Maybe I'm here, more than ever
I'm not even trying to make this day work
It won't and now I'm sure about it
It's the last week of the summer
And I feel very nervous about it
Nervousness caused by excitement or raw fear of what's winter holding for me
I'd like to throw the last kind out
But I don't see any trash can around
And anyway I wouldn't risk it:
I could throw my dreams- accidentally- as well
And wouldn't that be a bummer

My sadness is rolling back in eventually
How did I think I could get away from it
What an audacious little prick
I was never a fan of this life
But you have to play with whatever is given to you

I aspire to become a fan of myself
Actually liking me
That's my challenge for the winter
Succeeding is hard, but isn't trying harder?